Bored in Physics
by Gilly B
Summary: Yes. It's true. This is pure crack but it makes my day. My friend and I get bored in Physics. This is what happens... T for swearing and the abuse of the German language.
1. We want PASTA!

And so you will learn what happens when two Hetalia fans get bored during Physics class...

This could, like, totally happen for reals in the show. Just sayin. FFF-

Disclaimer: Don't own it. Though this piece of awesome would probably be wanted by the creators. Oh yeah.

WARNINGS: Crack. There will be pairings: Gerita, Rusame, FrUk, PruCan, Giripan, DenNor, SuFin, AusSwiss, LietPol, RomaGerm, umm... more? Somewhere? I think it's listed by how much is in there... We threw in errbody! Anywho. OCs, because we need them. Violence. Fluff. Violence. And PASTA~!

CHAPTER 1: Start the Day

In which: No one really knows who's talking to whom and Italy wants Pasta.

* * *

><p>Italy: Hello!<p>

Russia: Privyet my little italian.

Italy: Do you have pasta?

Russia: Da, we have lots of pasta. *raep face*

Italy: *oblivious* Yay! Where? *looks around*

Russia: You only get pasta if you become one with Mother Russia, da?

Italy: Oka-

Germany: ITALY NIEN!

Prussia: Bruder! The awesome me shall save your little bed buddy!

Italy: Save me? From what?

America: I'M THE HERO!

Germany: *shoves America off -screen* Get out of here!

Sealand: And I'm really a country! Honest!

America: Dude, I have to _talk_ to Russia... *wink wink*

Italy: *to Sealand* I've never seen you before. Who're you?

Canada: I'm Canada.

America: Well of course you are bro!

Kumajiro: *blank stare*

Russia: *rape face*

Germany: *face palm* *grabs Italy by the collar* Los geht's.

Italy: Ve~ Germany... Can we have pasta?

Austria: NO.

Hungary: Yes! *hits Austria with frying pan* Of course Germany will make him pasta~! *yaoi fangirl squeal*

Germany: VHY do you keep FOLLOWING ME?

Prussia: BECAUSE I'M AWESOME!

America: I'M THE AWESOME ONE!

Prussia: NO VAY! I totally out-awesome you!

Poland: Totally.

Canada: Oh maple...

America: NO _I _AM!

Prussia: NIEN! I AM!

Canada: *snapped* YOU'RE BOTH IDIOTS! NOW, SHUT. UP.

America & Prussia: O.O

Sealand: *bursts into tears*

Russia: ?

Canada: Wait... What just happened?

Kumajiro: *shakes in fear* W-who are you?

England: Wanker.

America: *to Prussia* N-no I am?

Belarus: *evil aura* If you know what's good for you, you'll shut up now.

America: Eep!

Belarus: You too Prussia. It would be a shame for something to happen to your vital regions...

Russia: *hides behind America*

Prussia: *nods*

Gilbird: Piyo~!

Pierre: *weird chirpy noise*

Tony: *to Pierre* I'm gonna eat you!

France: Non! America! Control your little... thing!

America: :| No. Why should I?

France: I will grope you into oblivion!

America:... TONY! TONY STOP!

Tony: Om nom nom. *burp* *feather falls*

America: Oh shi-

France: AMERI-

Russia: *pulls out pipe* Touch moi slodvakee Amerikanski and face the wrath of General Winter, da?

America: A.. merikanshi? *really bad accent*

Russia: My sweet American, da? *leer*

America: *blushes*

France: Ohonhonhonhon Ohonhonhonhonhon~

England: *creeping on France*

England: Nap time Frog! *hits France over the head with spell book*

France: *crumples to the floor*

Canada: Papa!

England: Don't worry. The damn frog is used to it by now. *drags France away*

Canada: … *shrugs*

Spain: Where did he go...? *panicking*

Everyone Conscious: Who?

Spain: My little Romano. He's missing!

Italy: *suddenly back* Mia fratello?

Spain: Si!

Italy: He's talking with Germany!

Germany: *loudly* FOR ZE LAST TIME. NO!

Romano: *louder than Germany* YOU-A DON'T-A GET A CHOICE YOU-A POTATO EATING BASTARD! STAY AWAY FROM MIA FRATELLO!

Italy: *to Spain with a clueless smile* They're being loud again. Ve~

Germany: I DON'T ZEE VHY YOU EVEN CARE!

Spain: :| I see. My little tomato...

Italy: Fratello, really! I like to be with Germany!

Romano: HE'S A POTATO EATING BASTARDO!

Italy: Ve~ You keep-a saying that...

Germany: Let's go home Italy. I'm getting a headache.

Italy: Ve~? Okay!

Romano: YOU-A GET BACK HERE YOU-

Spain: Time to go my lovely tomato~!

Romano: *muffled yelling and kicking*

Italy: Hey Germany? Can we have some pasta?

Austria: No.

Germany: GO AVAY! *shoves Austria* ...Yes..

Italy: Ve~ Pasta~!

Germany: *small smile* Ja. Pasta.

Random Voice From Nowhere: Little does everyone know, that when Italy asks specifically _Germany_ for pasta... he doesn't actually mean _pasta_.

Germany: … Ve're home. *turns on light*

Prussia: *from couch* The light! It burns!

Germany: Bruder... *glare* Go annoy somevone else.

Prussia: ?... Oh! Sexy time vith the Italy? Ja, okay... Unless you vant me to join? *rape face*

Germany: OUT!

Prussia: I'm going! I'm going!

Italy: Ve~

Germany: *door shuts* So... now vhat?

ABRUPT SCENE CHANGE

* * *

><p>HAHAHAHAH~! This is probably the longest chapter you're gonna get. Legit.<p>

Don't worry though. This will probably be updated daily. I just have to type this shiz up.


	2. Lair, Lair

You lucky bastards. Look. Another chapter...

Disclaimer: Feh.

WARNINGS: Yaoi. France. Pairings mentioned before. Violence. Magic. France. Sexual insinuations. Bad French. France.

Look. I'm taking German class kay? Not French. So if we completely butchered it. Tell us. Aight.

Chapter 2: Lair, Lair

In which: France's pants are in fact not on fire and Cananda is kidnapped for his pancakes.

* * *

><p>Canada: Oh maple...<p>

England: I know. Usually he's awake by now...

France: *still unconscious*

Prussia: NOT TO VORRY! THE AWESOME ME HAS ARRIVED~!

England: Oh great, now we have two perverts. *grumbles* Even if one is probably dead. *kick's France's head*

France: *opens eyes* ...nh?

Prussia: Mein bruder in sexual promiscuity! He is avake! My sheer awesomeness healed him!

France: *staring about blankly* …?

Canada: You're such a hoser!

Prussia: Am not! Ve've gone over this before! France is the rapist, Spain is the pedo, and I'm just an awesome pervert. No hosing involved!

France: *is ignored*

America: I'm home, yo! *sees Prussia* YOU!

Prussia: ME! *blinks* Ja?

America: Not cool bro. Wait... Why are ya'll in my house?

Prussia: Vell, I have no idea why they're here. *points to France, England, and Canada* But I'm here cuz Bruder vanted "Private Time" vith Italy. So I just followed Birdie~!

France: *horrified stare*

England: *shrugs* France is acting strange.

America: :| When is he not?

France: *random rapid french*

Canada: Slow down! What?

France: NON NON NON! MY PANTS ARE NOT ON FIRE!

Canada: *cries* You broke daddy!

France: … *cough*

America: Hey dad. *pokes France* Dad?

England: I did not break your Father!

Canada: Papa, why?

Prussia: …

France: Frere Jaques, Frere Jaques, Dor may vous, Dor may vous...

Prussia: *slap*

Everyone: *gasp!*

France: *stopped singing* *blank stare* Hon?

England: Are you alright now?

France: … *french*

Canada: He said he doesn't feel well... He's not speaking english... You think you knocked it right out of him?

America: Least we know his pants aren't on fire!

England: Well, we probably shouldn't leave him lying on the floor, should we?

Prussia: I don't see anything wrong with that.

England: Wanker.

Prussia: *shrug* Hey Birdie~! You should make the awesome me some pancakes!

Canada: *sigh* Fine.

America: *grabs France and pulls him up* Upsy Daisy, pops!

France: *standing* … *random french* … *runs away*

America: :| … Oh well!

England: Bloody frog! Get back here!

America: Don't sweat it ma~!

England: I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT.

America: No prob... mum.

England: I don't know if I should be angry that you're insinuating I'm a woman, or proud because you used _my _slang.

America: Um yeah. Weren't you trying to catch Papa? *smirk* Mum?

England: *smacks back of America's head* Don't get cocky. FRANCIS! *runs after France*

Faintly: … Honhonhonhon...

England: *has France cornered under a desk* Now, Francis, I want you to come out from there and lay down okay?

France: *wild look in his eye* You'll never take me alive!

England: I'll.. wear that _thing_... if you come out. *blushes*

France: Zat maid outfit I bought you?

England: Among other ones...

France: *crawls out from under desk* E-England, my 'ead feels weird. What's wrong with me?

England: *flash back* *France is hit with a spell book* *End flash back*

England: Er, nothing dear. We'll get you fixed right up!

France: Oui~ Je' Taime~

England: *blushes* You're still going to make me wear that _thing_ aren't you?

France: Of course mi amore~ You are, after all, the one who hit me over the head with your spell book.

England: Wha? Was this all a hoax?

France: Actually non. My 'ead does feel weird. *smirk* La amore knows no bounds! I just used zis to my advantage!

England: YOU BLOODY WANKER!

America: *laughing hysterically*

England: A-A-ALFRED! STAY OUT OF THIS!

America: Woah! Chill! I just came to tell you that your other son is about to be kidnapped.

Prussia: THE AWESOME ME VANTS YOU TO COME VITH HIM~!

Canada: Oh maple, calm down. I already said I would, so stop yelling in third person!

ANOTHER SCENE CHANGE~!

* * *

><p>Yeah. You enjoy that. Next chapter it starts going all over the place, and me adding "Scene Change!" At the end will make finally make sense.<p>

Oh and... Prussia's German? It gets way more intense. Like... he'll start yelling in paragraphs... but that's beside the point...

Anyway. Thanks. No really. I LOVE YOU. ...


	3. CAT PLANET CAT PLANET

So like that update daily promise? Sorry. Fernando got dropped. He's still getting fixed right now. (If you haven't guessed... He's my laptop.) So I'm typing this on my slow ass family computer. Worship me. I had to put up with it. For you.

Disclaimer: ... *explosion*

WARNINGS: Cats. Violence. Pairings. Crack. Belarus. Language. And Puberty.

Chapter 3: CAT PLANET CAT PLANET

In which: Japan is eaten by cats, Russia runs from Belarus, and Sealand hits puberty.

* * *

><p>Greece: … I hate you...<p>

Japan: *blank stare*

Cats: Meow~

Greece: … Kitties... I can't hug...

Cats: *wall of cats preventing Greece from touching Japan*

Greece: … Why my precious kitties...

Japan: P-prease... *doesn't like to be touched*

Japan: *is swallowed whole by monster cat mob*

Cats: Meow! *evil cat aura*

Greece: No! AUGH! *Jumps into the cat mob*

ABRUBT SCENE CHANGE

America: Dude... you alright?

Russia: I-I don't v-vant to marry moi sestra.

America: Belarus? Is she still on that?

Russia: D-da.

America: Hey! Come hang out with me dude! She'll never find you at my place!

ABRUPT SCENE CHANGE!

Poland: And I was like no wai! And he was like "She was like all totally like omaigah!"

Sealand: *blank stare* What did you even say?

Poland: You, like, totally don't get me! Lame-o!

Sealand: I just want to be a country! I don't really care.

Poland: I'm, like, totally trying to teach you! But you _so_ aren't listening!

Sealand: I still have _no_ idea what you said.

Poland: *facepalm* Okay, kid. Listen carefully. *most scholar like sentence ever filled with glorious knowledge* Is that better?

Sealand: Uh, yeah. Sure. *still doesn't understand*

Poland: Hooray! I totally taught you all about, like, everything!

Sealand: You do that. Now to convince England that I _am_ a country!

England: Yes? You called?

Poland: Like, I totally have a fashion show to go to so... pozegnanie!

Sealand: Oh! Well! Um! I was no like and totally... hold on a second. _If I talk like Poland, who is a country, maybe England will let me be one!_

England: ?

Sealand: He said that she was totally oh my goodness! *throws hands into air* *keeps babbling Polish nonsense*

England: Fish and chips! If you just shut up, I might say you're a country! God that's annoying!

Sealand: *happy tears* Really?

England: You know what. Not worth it. I don't want to deal with both _you_ _and_ Alfred _and _that _bloody frog_ at the world conference.

Sealand: *crushed* Oh... okay... *hides in the only house on Sealand* WAAAAAAAH!

Germany: *random appearance* Vhy don't you just recognize him already? I did.

England: By de facto! And fine! SEALAND!

Sealand: *opens door and ocean of tears comes out* What do _you_ want you big bully?

England: *mumbles* you'reacountry

Sealand: ...huh?

England: YOUREACOUNTRY

Sealand: *smiles* What was that?

England: *grumbles* YOU. ARE. A. BLOODY. COUNTRY.

Sealand: HA! I _AM_ A COUNTRY! *sudden man voice* Huh? What? *man voice*

England: S-Sealand?

Sealand: I'M A BIG KID NOW! YEAH!

America: Holy shiznit dude! Mum, what did you do to Sealand? He's... tall.

England: I... acknowledgedhim... *cough*

America: Cool! Um. Little bro, you might want to get new pants... here. *random pants pulled from coat of magic*

Sealand: Oh cool! BIG person pants!

America: No prob, little bro. Let the hero teach you all about being a country!

Sealand: Goody! Maybe you'll make more sense than Poland!

Poland: I like, totally, take offense to that.

Sealand: Oh! Bu-but that you anyway!

Poland: Let me, like, totally teach you _all_ about _fashion_.

America: I'm the hero! _I'll_ teach him!

Seland: Both of you!

SCENE CHANGE... AGAIN!

* * *

><p>Yeah... Good news! We (Em-chan and Abi-chan) are up to like chapter 16. I (Abi-chan) just have to type it. We mades fan art. Yeah. Cause we're awesome. When I bother to post it, I'll link it on my profile. But seeing as the fanart is on scenes that you haven't even read yet... I won't post for a bit. Oh, and plot happens. I swear we didn't mean it. It just happened... You'll see...<p>

See ya'll later.


	4. Radiation

Ohhh~ Scary. I'm under tornado warning right now. I might die. ...

Disclaimer: *is in ruins*

WARNINGS: Author death. Pervertedness. Tragedies. And Sunflowers.

Chapter 4: Radiation

In which: France is France, England has no taste buds, and Russia is awkward.

* * *

><p>France: Come on Angleterre~! You can't run from me forever~! Honhonhohnohnohn~<p>

England: NO! YOU BLOODY WANKER! YOU LIED TO ME!

France: I was not lying to you mon cher~!

England: WHAT KIND OF IDIOT YELLS ABOUT THEIR PANTS NOT BEING ON FIRE?

France: Well. I was simply stating zee truth Angleterre~ My pants were devoid fire were zey not? *flirty smile*

England: HOW DO YOU TURN EVERYTHING SEXUAL?

France: It is a gift, non?

England: A GIFT IS NOT WHAT I'D CALL IT.

France: Honhonhonhonhon~ Oui! It is a gift, and a big one a zat!~ 3

England: *flushed* KNOCK IT OFF!

France: At least put on zee apron? ~

England: Not if you're pulling stunts like that! *shakes head*

France: I'll cook you something nice, oui? ~ 3

England: Ha! You can't bribe me with food! My taste buds died years ago!

France: *shocked face* But you always told me zat you loved my cooking! *teary* Is zis all just … 'ow you say... Joke for you?

England: *grumble* I _did_ like your cooking. *blushes* When I could taste it...

France: And 'ow long ago was _zat_?

England: *grumbles* When... I started... *grumble* cooking *cough* scones.

France: But zat was so long ago! Zis is a tragedy! *river of tears*

England: Oh quit being so dramatic!

France: You've been lying to me for years! *weep weep*

England: *sigh* Just because I can't taste it, doesn't mean I don't know your food is delicious.

France: Zat doesn't even make sense.

England: Sure it does... I can still smell it. *weak chuckle* … and... the boys love it...

France: *sniffle* I guess... But you still cannot taste it yourself! We shall restore your taste buds!

England: How are you-

France: *dashes away*

LATER...

England: *creeping*

France: *in french* You sure this will work?

Woman: Yes, I'm sure. And _no_ radiation.

France: Yes. Hopefully not like last time.

England: _LAST TIME?_ *mumble* What the bloody hell? What's that twit up too?

ABRUPT SCENE CHANGE AGAIN AGAIN

Russia: You have a surprisingly clean house Amerika.

America: Thanks! I- Hey! What's that supposed to mean?

Russia: Nothing, moi slodvakee~

America: Eh. You know, you aren't too bad for a commie bastard.

Russia: I am not communist anymore, da? *evil smile* I would be careful of what you say if I were you.

America: *oblivious* Kay then~ Whaddya wanna do?

Russia: Besides "give you a grammar lesson"?

America: Dude! I'm letting you stay here! Stop being so rude, yo!

Russia: Izvinite, you are giving me shelter from moi sestra. I apologize, Amerika.

America: *heroic smile* I forgive ya pal! So. Whaddya wanna do huh?

Russia: *shy* You grow sunflowers here, da?

America: Yeah? What about it? *is confused*

Russia: *blush* Could we *mumble* go see them?

America: Sure! *grabs Russia's sleeve and drags*

Russia: *blush* Spasiba moi slodvakee.

America: HAHAHAHA! NO PROB~ *drags Russia away*

SCENE CHANGE AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN

* * *

><p>.<p>

Ehhhhhhh...


	5. PANCAKES ARE AWESOME

HAHAHAHAHAH~! I lived. Aren't you happy? ... Still typing on this slow ass computer... AUGH. *pitiful sob* It's sooooo sloooooooooooww. Anyone wanna buy me a new laptop while Fernando's in the shop?

Disclaimer: *Is having it's funeral* *No one came by the way*

WARNINGS: Stuff. Lewd jokes. Animal cruelty. Crack.

Chapter 5: PANCAKES ARE AWESOME

In which: England is hugged, Italy is a pervert, Pancakes are made at an obscene hour, Japan survives, something about a squirrel, and Germany dies.

* * *

><p>France: *stomps up to England* *croons into England's ear* Angleterre~<p>

England: GOD SAVE THE QUEEN! THE HELL FRANCE?

France: *pokes England's lips* Open.

England: *blank stare* *shakes head*

France: *glare* Come on! I'm not going to violate you!

England: (_That's what you say...) _*shakes head*

France: I stayed up late making this! Come on you ungrateful Brit!

England: *grumbles* (_If I wake up tied to the bed again...) _Fine. *opens mouth*

France: *puts candy-thing in his mouth*

England: *spits it out* Nasty!

France: *ecstatic smile* But..?

England: *eyes widen* It was... nasty. I...

France: You can taste again mon lapin~!

England: Wha...? How did...?

France: Does it matter?~ You can try all kinds of new cuisine~!

England: *mouth gaping* Wha... Wha...

France: *huggles England*

GUESS WHAT! SCENE CHANGE.

Germany: *watching Italy sleep*

Italy: *snore* Germany...

Germany: (_He's talking in his sleep again.)_ Ja, Italy?

Italy: You have a really big pasta... *snore*

Germany: …. *blush* Sleep quietly.

Italy: *snore* Veh~ But I like your pasta!~

Germany: *blush deepens* Are you even actually asleep?

Italy: … Si... *snore* … Te amo~

Germany: You are ridiculous.

SCENE CHANGE CHANGE AGAIN

Prussia: I AM AWESOME CANANDA. But, you already know that.

Canada: … yeah... What time is it? I'm exhausted...

Prussia: 3 IN THE MORNING! *awesome laugh*

Canada: And how long have I been here?

Prussia: No idea!

Canada: And why did you wake me up at three in the morning?

Prussia: BEST TIME FOR PANCAKES!

Canada: … And I'm sure, I'm the one that has to make them, right?

Prussia: OF COURSE! YOUR PANCAKES MATCH THE LEVEL OF MY AWESOMENESS!

Canada: … But I'm tiiired~

Prussia: I'll wake you up real quick! *perverted leer*

Canada: Oh maple...

URK! SCENE! CHANGE IT!

Greece: Di-did you survive the kitties...?

Japan: Nothing is as bad as Itary-san's driving.

Greece: … agreed... I'm sorry about all the scratches...

Japan: It is alright. I wir survive.

Greece: … I'm sorry... *puppy-dog eyes*

Japan: I forgive you. *pats Greece's head* *blushes*

AWWW! TOO BAD, SCENE CHANGE!

Spain: Romano, put the nice squirrel down and leave it alone.

Romano: But it was-a looking at me funny.

Spain: *takes squirrel and lets it go* It's a _squirrel_ Lovi.

Romano: *glares at squirrel* *glares at Spain* *glares at squirrel* *glares at Spain*

(lol really random scene) SCENE CHANGE!

Italy: *randomly wakes up screaming in Italian*

Germany: Italy! Italy vats going on!

Italy: *hugs Germany* C-cara a mi! C-c-cara mia bella! *cries* D-don't die!

Germany: *shocked* *holds Italy* I'm not going anyvhere Italy. Ih- Ich liebe dich... *blush* *nods head* Ja. Du gefällst mir.

Italy: *quaking* Y-you promise?

Germany: *soft smile* Ja. Wie du mir, so ich dir. As long as you live, so vill I. Meine Blume.

Italy: *cry * I was so sad when he k-killed you and... and... *bawling*

Germany: Who? Who vould kill me? I'm too tough for that, Ja? *rocking Italy back and forth*

Italy: … *hic* D-does it matter? *scared to say who*

Germany: Nein. It does not matter.

SADISTIC SCENE CHANGE OF DOOM

* * *

><p>So... We had completely forgotten about writing the squirrel scene. It's our favorite now. Well, in competition with... another one. Enjoy! No really. Just revel in the awesomeness you just read. Yeah. Did you like your first taste of plot? It wasn't much... But just wait. Oh! FLUFF. FLUFFITY FLUFF FLUFF. Shall be seen tomorrow. No really. It's EPIC FLUFF in the next chapter.<p>

ICH! LIEBE! DICH!


	6. Springtime for Hitler

Fanfic was bein' a meanie yesterday. *pouts* The world just doesn't want me to update daily. Two chapters for you today! So, over the weekend we had an author's conference. *cogh*sleepover*cough* And wrote a whole bunch. We also discovered hidden voice talents. I can sound just like N. Italy and Canada while Em-chan can sound just like Sealand and Chibitalia. Scary. Anyway...

Disclaimer: *shot of headstone*

WARNINGS: Evil plot. Family. Fluff. Fluff. Missing nations. Fluff.

Chapter 6: Springtime for Hitler

In which: The plot thickens, Sealand meets his other brother, Epic fluff abounds, and Liechtenstein goes missing.

* * *

><p>Random scary dark voice: Those nations will never know what hit them. They think they're safe... *evil laugh of DOOM*<p>

SCARY! SCENE CHANGE!

Sealand: So! What do I need to do now to become a good country?

Poland: You like, totally need to paint your house vicked hipster pink.

Sealand: Woah! That'd take forever! I can't paint all of Sealand pink!

Poland: Listen up broski, it takes time to look this good umkay? Awesome isn't made in a day.

Prussia: DID SOMEBODY SAY AWESOME?

Canada: Prussia! Get back here... maple...

Sealand: Oh hello there! Do you know what I am? *huge grin*

Canada: Maple?

Sealand: No silly! I'm *dramatic pause* A COUNTRY!

Canada: *looks him over and gasps* Hey! I remember you! When did you get so... tall?

Sealand: When mum finally recognized me as one!

Canada: Mum...? England?

Sealand: Yep! *salutes*

Canada: *smiles* That makes you my brother.

Prussia: Not another one...

Sealand: Cool! I have another brother!

Canada: Another? You've already met Alfred?

Sealand: Yeah, "big bro" was there when I was accepted! But he disappeared somewhere...

Poland: *giggles* Wonder where he went...

Prussia: *catches on and giggles*

Sealand: What's so funny?

Canada: Nothing. *slings arm around Sealand* Come on! I'll introduce you to Australia.

SCENE CHANGE OF LOVE!~ 3

(R U READY FOR DA FLUFF?)

Russia: Amerika...

America: No peeking!

Russia: *sighs* I don't-

America: I said no peeking! *leads a little further* Look now!

*insert epic dramatic sunflowers*

Russia: *gasp* Amerika...

America: HAHAHAHA~! Knew you'd like them.

Russia: *tackle-hugs America* Spasiba moi lyubov. Spasiba.

America: *sly smile* Hey Russia, what's lyubov mean?

Russia: *growls* You know very well, moi lyubov. *Epic kiss of fluffiness*

As cute as that was... SCENE CHANGE!

Switzerland: *bursts into Austria's house* H-Help!

Austria: *stops playing piano* What? What's going on?

Swiss: She's gone! She's gone! I've looked everywhere!

Austria: Who? Liechtenstein? Where would she even go?

Swiss: *teary* I don't know! She never goes anywhere without telling me!

Austria: Calm down. We'll find her, don't worry.

NOT SCENE CHANGE... SCENE FLASH!

Liechtenstein: Where... Am I?

END SCENE FLASH!

* * *

><p>Heh, title throw you for a loop? Ffff- yeah. 'S a good song, go look it up. (I VAS NEVER PART OF ZEE NAZI PARTY. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW ZHERE VAS A VAR ON. VE LIVED IN ZEE BACK. ACROSS FROM SVITSERLAND. ALL VE EVER HEARD VAS YODELING. *Yodeling* YO- VHAT DO YOU VANT?) (Adolf...<em>Elizabeth...<em>Hitler?)


	7. WHY CAN'T WE BE FRIENDS?

Heh. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: *graveyard* I can't get any deader guys.

WARNINGS: OOC Creature Friends, Small dose of angst, Australian jokes, and capslock.

Chapter 7: WHY CAN'T WE BE FRIENDS?

In which: Friends have a meeting, the number 34, England is grumpy, and Australia is awkward.

* * *

><p>Tony: He abandoned me for that Russian dude!<p>

Flying Mint Bunny: I feel your pain. *sigh*

Gilbird: Piyooo. *sad Gilbird is sad*

FMB: I know, I know. *pets Gilbird*

Kumajiro: Sorry I'm late. That man who carries me around locked the door. *looks at paws* No thumbs you see.

Tony: Welcome to the club, man.

Captain Hook: Arrrgh...

Kumajiro: So, what is this meeting about?

Tony: The nations have been abandoning us in favor of other nations.

Pookie: Nyan! Russia has been ignoring me in favor of that American idiot.

Tony: *pause* Aren't you Italy's cat?

Pookie: Nyan, I used to be. He squished my paw one too many times. I live with Russia now.

Tony: Dude. That makes nooo sense.

Gilbird: Piyoo!

Tony: Oh yeah... Meeting.

Captain: Freakin Arrgh!

Tony: So, what do we do?

Kumajiro: We have to do something!

Pookie: Revenge! Nyan!

Tinkerbell: Let's not be too hasty now...

FMB: Buzz off! He doesn't talk to you anyway!

Tink: So what if they don't pay attention to us anymore! We have each other don't we?

Uni: *neigh*

Tony: Here's what we should do!

Captain: By Davie Jone's Locker, here we go again, arrrgh.

Cats: *sleeping*

Tony: We should build a giant space ship...

FMB: YOU BLOODY IDIOT! THAT'S WHAT YOU ALWAYS SAY!

Gilbird: Well, I have the most awesome idea yet, piyo! I kidnapped a HOSTAGE!

Uni: Not again!

Liechtenstein: *confused look* *blank stare*

Tony: Woah dude! You stole a NATION?

Gilbird: Hostage! Because I'm AWESOME! The awesome me figured zat they vould take more notice if ve took one of their own!

Kuma: *waddles up to Liechtenstein*

Lichy: Nice bear. *pets head*

Tony: Woah! That's hardcore!

Gilbird: So here's the awesome plan...

FINALLY! SCENE CHANGE!

Voice: Mwahahahaha!Their time is coming! They'll all be gone soon!

Other Voice: Yes, yes. And the world will soon be ours. You've said this how many times already?

Voice: 34?

Other Voice: *facepalm*

Voice: I don't need your sarcasm!

Other Voice: Yes, yes. Because you'll-

Voice: RULE THE WORLD! MWAHAHAHHAHAHAH~

AH! SCARY! CHANGE THE SCENE!

France: I fixed your taste-buds! Eat!

England: I've already eaten six things that you've cooked!

France: But mon amore~ You can taste all zis wonderful food now!

England: BUT I"M BLOODY FULL. I. CAN'T. EAT. ANY. MORE! ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME FAT? BLOODY FROG! YOU JUST WANT MY ARSE BIGGER SO YOU CAN GROPE IT! THIS IS ALL SOME ELABORATE, PERVERTED PLAN OF YOURS ISN'T IT? WELL? FROG?

France: I did not know you were so irritable with a full tummy mon cher~ Per'aps zis is the real reason you lost your taste-buds hmm?

England: GRAAA-

We are experiencing technical difficulties. SCENE CHANGE!

Australia: Goodday Mates! Want some shrimp off the barbie?

Sealand: Oh hello there! What's a barbie?

Canada: He's new. *embarrassed smile* He's our newest brother.

Australia: Really? Another one? I think we need to get our parents some condoms for Christmas.

Canada: *sigh* Yeah. *motions to Sealand* This is Australia, little guy. He's your brother too. Australia, this is Sealand.

Sealand: Hello! I'm a country now!

Australia: Nice to meet ya bro! *tells a joke no one understands*

Canada: Y-yeah...! Ahaha...?

Sealand: …?

Australia: HAHAHAHAH!

AWKWARD. SCENE. CHANGE.

* * *

><p>WHAT HAVE WE DONE? Awesomeness THATS WHAT! So I made a Gilbird on a headband and walked around school with him on my head today. No one questioned it. Sursly. They're THAT used to my weirdness. Ja. Anyway, tomorrow Imma wear Pierre~!<p>

Tschus!


	8. Aren't they dead?

HAHA~! Hallo mein lieblings~! Aight. This is how it goes. I'm dead tired right now. I have drama on Tuesdays and Thursdays and sometimes Saturdays. Practice lasts from right after school to 7:00 now. We're getting close to show day and it's getting tough, so no more daily updates. Em-chan is in Drama with me. We're putting on Grease! So excited! Anyway...

Disclaimer: *is brought back to life by some evil person*

WARNINGS: DenNor, Yaoi, Austria is a little OOC for our amusement, no one can ever understand Sweden.

Chapter 8: Aren't they dead?

In which: China doesn't finish his sentences, Finland is scarred for life, and Germans sparkle.

* * *

><p>Swiss: *dashes back into room* Did you find her?<p>

Austria: Nein, I'm afraid. But the music tells me there is a disturbance in the force.

Swiss: The what says a what, what?

Austria: *pokerface* The music. It speaks to me.

Swiss: Wha...? NEVERMIND! We've got to find her!

China: What's going on, aru?

Swiss: She, Liechtenstein, is missing! *panicky*

China: Ah, I'll use ancient Chinese technique and find her, aru.

Swiss: Really?

China: And if that doesn't work, we can always ask England to use magic, aru.

Swiss: *facepalm* I don't trust _him._

China: Fine, aru! ANCIENT CHINESE TEA LEAVES TECHNIQUE! *throws poke-ball with random leaves in it*

Swiss: O-okay?...

Austria: …? What the Bach?

China: I see, aru, I see. *looking at leaves*

Swiss: *all up on China* What does it say?

China: It says...

INTENSE CLIFFHANGER SCENE CHANGE

Sweden:...

Finland: So... um...

Sweden: ….

Norway: One day Denmark, you won't even know, you'll just be dead.

Denmark: How won't I know?

Norway: *glare* You'll be dead so fast, you won't even know you're dead.

Denmark: I will?

Sweden: *covers Finland's eyes* 's g'nna get nasty. Ya d'nt n'd ta see.

Finland: Wha...? *blush*

Norway: *heated glare*

Denmark: Come on Norge~! You know you wanna! *wiggles eyebrows* *sudden DenNor make-out session*

Sweden: D'nt look. *wince* *blush*

Finland: Why? What's going on? Waldy! I can't seeeeeeee. If it's Denmark and Norway making out again, it's okay, I've seen them at it before. I don't like not seeing anything! Please?

Sweden: Fine. But d'nt say I didn't w'rn ya. *uncovers Finland's eyes*

Finland: Oh my Odin. Is that even legal? Ewwwwww. *takes Sweden's hand and re-covers eyes*

Sweden: *smirk* T'ld ya.

Finland: Let's go before they start having sex on the lawn.

Sweden: Think they alr'dy are.

Finland: Hush silly. *smacks him on the arm*

DEAR GOD WHAT ARE THEY... SCENE CHANGE!

Rome: The sky looks dark, doncha think?

Germania: Mhm.

Rome: Something ominous is happening.

Germania: ….mm...

Rome: I think... A German Sparkle Party is about to begin. *shudder*

Germania: I seriously hope not...

Rome: I know... Those things get seriously scary. Do you remember last time?

Germania: *shudder*

Rome: The was glitter EVERYWHERE for WEEKS and-and-and

Germania: Don't say another word! Please!

Rome: *shudder* So scary. What should we do? We can't let that happen again...

Germania: I have no idea...

Rome: We're doomed...

GERMAN SPARKLE PARTY SCENE CHANGE

* * *

><p>Yeah. You're gonna see the sparkle party joke... A LOT. You think it's bad now? Just wait. Just you wait... WE HAVE SO MUCH PLOT IT'S RIDICULOUS FOR THIS CRACK. I mean really. We're up to chapter 20. So be prepared! *DUN DUN DUN*<p>

Do svidaniya~!


	9. MY PANCAKES BRING THE BOYS TO THE YARD

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY~! I got Fernando back~! He's up and running~! Anyway~ ON WITH THE SHOW~

Disclaimer: *zombie*

WARNINGS: Language of the bad variety, OOC Austria for our amusement, drunks, and violence

Chapter 9: MY PANCAKES BRING BOYS TO THE YARD

In which: Austria speaks to the music, China kills England, and Prussia breaks the Fourth Wall.

* * *

><p>China: It says... Nothing.<p>

Swiss: Wh-what? *teary*

China: Nothing. *blank stare* She's not in this world.

Austria: B-but, the hills are alive with the sound of music! She has to be here somewhere.

Swiss: Enough about you and your possessed music obsessed senses! What does this mean?

China: She has left this dimension. She is in an alternate universe, aru.

Swiss: No... *faints*

China: But it's very easy to summon her back if this is the case, aru!

Austria: *holding Swiss* *points to China* You. Are an ass.

China: You'll need England's help though.

Austria: *carrying Swiss to bad* You're still an ass. You know he loves his sister. I shall now show my displeasure with you through piano. *DUN DUN DUN CHOPIN TIME!*

China: S-sorry, aru. I'll go get England...?

Austria: *still playing piano* *glares* *magically plays with one hand to motion for China to leave*

China: O-okay, aru.

LATER...

China: Eeeenglaaaaand!

England: WHAT? *drunk* DO YOU KNOW WHAT FRANCE WANTS WITH ME? He acts like he cares, but really, he's just another pervert! He tried to make me sign a calender... What does that even mean?

China: Can you do a summoning, aru? Or are you too drunk?

England: I CAN ALWAYS DO MAGIC YOU ASIAN GIT! BELT UP! I'LL SUMMON _EVERYONE! _RIGHT. NOW.

China: Are you sure, aru? You don't seem up to it.

England: OF COURSE I'M UP TO IT! WE BRITS CAN DO ANYTHING! I USED TO BE A MIGHTY EMPIRE you know... I was a pirate too... The fiercest captain in all the seven seas!

China: Maybe we should wait until tomorrow?

England: NO! WE'LL DO IT RIGHT HERE! HEY GILBERT! CAN I BORROW YOUR BASEMENT?

China: Um... Prussia isn't here...?

England: Really? I could've sworn I saw that albino bastard here... Oh well... Hey, hey China... Did I tell you about the time I was in a rock band... or oh! This one time, Alfred wasss... *collapses*

China: AIYAHH! *Fans him* I knew you were too drunk!

England: *is dragged away by China*

China: *is now in Austria's house again* I didn't kill him! I swear, aru!

SCENE CHANGE OF SUPPOSED DEATH

Prussia: HOW MANY MORE RELATIVES DO YOU HAVE? This is so un-awesome!

Canada: Well, I have a half-brother too. Hong Kong.

Prussia: AUGH.

Canada: And Uncle Scotland, Uncle Wales, Auntie and Uncle Irelands. I have a few cousins in Africa. And Japan was my adopted brother for a while there... Plus a whole bunch I can't remember.

Prussia: Are you related to every obnoxious character on this show? (I broke the fourth wall, kesesesese)

Canada: Pretty much.

Prussia: Then how the hell did you happen?

Canada: I dunno. *puppy dog eyes* Is my family too annoying? Are you going to quit talking to me?

Prussia: *shocked* No birdie! Your pancakes are too awesome!

Canada: YOU ONLY LIKE ME FOR MY PANCAKES! *cry*

Prussia: Neineineineinein! Not just your pancakes! No! *blush* Um... The pancakes... are only a bonus...

Canada: *calms down* Really? *thinking* Then... You wanna try something else Canadian then? I'll give you a better taste of Canada then just pancakes!

(Authors: Oh Matthew... You go right on and _give him a better taste of Canada. _*leer*)

Prussia: Like what?

Canada: *evil smile* Hockey.

Prussia: What's that?

Canada: You'll see~!

OH HELL, PRUSSIA'S GONNA DIE! SCENE CHANGE!

* * *

><p>Um, yeah. I'm listening and was listening to HetaOni music while typing this. Needless to say, I really sad now. *bawls* AHAHAHAAAAAHHAAAAAAA! WHY U SO SAD?<p>

Anyway.

Chapter 10 has all of Prussia's german in it, and chapter 11 gets plotty. Legit. Chapter 11 might just make you cry. And laugh. And then cry some more.

PEACE.


	10. Für die Katze!

Yeah. Um. Important, if not awkward author's note... So... I don't have the rest of the next chapter. Legit. Em-chan has it. I don't think we realized she has the next notebook and it has the rest of the chapter... Em-chan can't type it either... She broke her wrist. ... I'll post links to the fanarts we made for this? Bribery? I won't see Em-chan until Monday... Yeah.

Disclaimer: KILL THE ZOMBIE! *wallops disclaimer zombie with a really big hammer*

WARNINGS: Poland, Crack, violence, and the abuse of the German language...

Chapter 10: Für die Katze!

In which: Poland looks for Sprinkles, tulips have alarms, Canada gets into a fight, and Prussia says funny things in German

* * *

><p>Poland: *knocks on Lithuania's door*<p>

Lithuania: *opens door* Yes?

Poland: Eeee~! *tackles Lithuania* I like, totally, missed you Toris! Its, like, been awhile!

Lithuania: O-oh! I missed you too...?

Poland: But actually, have you seen Pony? I haven't seen him all day. *pause* Actually, come to think of it, I haven't seen, like, any animals all day. At all.

Lithuania: Yeah, you're right. Weird.

Poland: Like, what if something happened to Sprinkles? WAAH! Not cool! Not cool!

Lithuania: I'm sure you'll find him eventually. He's probably eating the neighbor's flowers or something! Want me to help you look?

Poland: Even worse! If Sprinkles os eating Netherlands' tulips again, he'll kill me!

Lithuania: … You're right. We have to hurry!

SCENE CHANGE TIME~~~~~

FMB: You know, I don't think anyone realizes this girl is gone.

Captain: Of course they do, arrrgh! They're probably freaking out right now!

Kuma: I don't think me and Gilbird stole the right nation...

Siren: RED ALERT! RED ALERT! BLOND NATION BOY HAS FOUND THE ENTERANCE TO OUR HIDE OUT!

Poland: Did you hear that Lithuania?

Lithuania: Something about red alert?

Poland: OMYGAW! Did like, Netherlands get an alarm system for his tulips! Dutch people are sooo weird!

Tony: Get in positions! *hits button that hides everyone. Don't question the button.* Silence!

Poland: It stopped. *pause* Do you think he's coming to kill us?

SADISTIC SCENE CHANGE~!

Prussia: Vhat the hell is going on?

Canada: Cmon! I've told you the rules like twenty times!

Prussia: But... All I see is guys beating each other up vith schticks! Shi- Did that guy just loose a tooth?

Canada: Yeah? *shrugs* So?

Prussia: Vhat the hell! There's blood all over the rink!

Canada: YEAH! *jumping up and down violently* GO MAPLE LEAVES!

Prussia: *pale* The-they're going to bleed out!

Canada: Don't worry 'bout it Gil! This happens all the time! *stands on seat* *violent thumbs down motion* BOO! ICE BEARS STINK!

Prussia: *paler still (I mean, come on, he's albino)* C-can I sit out? *muttering* So much blood... So much blood?

Canada: COME ON GIL! It's a Canadian experience! *yelling at rink* TASTE THE MAPLE! TASTE THE MAAAAPLEEEEEE!

Prussia: *weak air-fist* Go team...

Random Person Beside Them: Psh- MAPLE LEAVES STINK! GO ICE BEARS! ICE BEARS RULE!

Canada: WANNA SAY THAT AGAIN?

Prussia: Mein Gott...

RPBT: YEAH. MAPLE. LEAVES. STINK.

Canada: YOU WANNA GO? YOU WANNA GO?

RPBT: COME AT ME BRO!

Canada: YOU CAN'T TAKE THIS!

Prussia: This is so un-awesome...

Canada: RAAAAAAAAAWR! *tackles RPBT*

Prussia: Hey! Stop! *tries to separate them*

RPBT: *punches Prussia in the face* STAY OUT OF IT!

Prussia: *goes silent* *ominous music plays*

Canada: *stops fighting* P-prussia...? Oh maple...

Prussia: *wipes blood off lip* *glares*

RPBT: What? You wanna fight too? YOU CAN'T TAKE THIS!

Prussia: *cracks knuckles* Ich habe die Nase voll. *hand gesture* Du bist ein ARSLOCH! *punches RPBT*

(Abi-chan: :D There's something on your face... IT WAS PAIN!)

Canada: *eyes widen* H-he's gonna kill him!

RPBT: *winces in pain* Holy- *panics when he sees Prussia get closer*

Prussia: DAS IS NICHT DEIN BIER, MAPLE LEAVES UND ICE BEARS! DAS IST ALLES FÜR DIE KATZE! *starts strangling RPBT*

Canada: No! Don't kill him! He's just stupid! Let's go okay? Okay? *starts to cry*

Prussia: *stops* *hugs Canada* Hush. Ja, ja. I'll stop. Nicht tötet ich er. I won't kill him. Los geht's mein liebling.

Canada: *looks up* Liebling...?

Prussia: Ja. *blushes* Liebling.

RPBT: * as they leave* Geez, remind me not to pick a fight with a German again...

Prussia: I'M PRUSSIAN~! VAY MORE AWESOME~!

Scene. It is time for a change. Yes.

* * *

><p>Aight. So Imma give you the literal (which is hilarious) translation and then the idiomatic meaning. So for a few of them... My German grammar is probably waaaay off. I think. I dunno. Correct me if you know!<p>

"DAS IS NICHT DEIN BIER, MAPLE LEAVES UND ICE BEARS!"- "That is not your beer, Maple leaves and Ice Bears." Basically, he's saying "It's none of your business, Maple leaves versus Ice Bears."

"DAS IST ALLES FÜR DIE KATZE!"- "THAT IS ALL FOR THE CATS!" :D IT'S CRAZY~!

"Nicht tötet ich er."- "No kill I he." Heh. Legit. Word for word. I won't kill him.

"Los geht's mein liebling." -Guess. Go ahead. Guesssssss. 3

Anyway. If there's any German I haven't translated and you're curious enough to leave a review, I'll translate it. You have to tell me first~!

ICH BIN SPITZE~! Auf weidersehen~!


	11. NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP

Aight. We got some real plot this chapter! Remember... Pics will keep being uploaded as more of the story is typed. In fact, there's a pic just for this chapter that I'll probably upload this weekend. Just go to deviantart and look me up as untalented101.

Disclaimer: *zombie moan* *dies...again*

WARNINGS: ANGST, LONG ASS RANTS, and language.

Chapter 11: NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP

In which: You will fecking bawl your eyes out.

* * *

><p>England: *starting to wake up* Woah... my head... Where am I?<p>

China: Oh! You're awake, aru!

England: No shit Sherlock...

China: We need you to summon Liechtenstein, aru.

England: When did I get here? … Did you bloody kidnap me?

China: You went willingly, aru. You were about to summon _everyone. _Then you passed out.

England: Twat. I was drunk wasn't I?

China: Yes. Now summon the girl, aru!

England: Well I'm not gonna! You kidnapped me, wanker!

Austria: You'd better summon her immediately or I have a feeling Switzerland will beat you with his peace prize when he wakes up.

England: You're in on this too?

China: You opium asshole! Summon her already.

England: Fine! Fine! *mumbles* The peace prize bloody hurts anyway...

Austria: Yes. It does indeed.

England: I need some chalk. Anybody got any chalk?

Korea: CHALK ORIGINATES FROM ME, DA-ZEE!

England: Give me some chalk then! And go home!

China: Oh fu-

Korea: *calmly gives England chalk* *turns to China* Hyung...

China: *whimpers*

Korea: DA-ZEE! *tackle-hugs China* I CLAIM THESE BREASTS~! *gropes China's chest*

England: I SAID GO HOME!

Korea: YOU AREN'T THE BOSS OF ME! *gropes England* BRITISH BREASTS~!

Austria: STOP! Korea, go. Home. England, summon Liechtenstein. Now. Hurry, before Swissy wakes up.

England: *takes chalk and draws a circle thing* Okay. *rolls up sleeves and pulls out spell-book* Dumble-Dora The Explora Wicked Magic Shakespeare Tragic Harry Potter Little Rotter Jack Latoya Janet Michael Merlin's Beard and Something Weird!

Austria: *gasps as room lights up*

China: Aru! Now it's my turn to help! *Naruto-esque hand poses* Aiyaaaaah! *hair dramatically floating*

SUDDENLY: Liechtenstein, Poland, Lithuania, Russia, and all assorted creatures fall from glowing hole in the ceiling.

Austria: *is smushed by mass of creatures* Aughk!

Poland: …? Sprinkles, why are you at Austria's? It's like, totally miles away!

Sprinkles: *neigh*

Russia: Where did the sunflowers go? *sad face*

Lichy: Are... Are we... at Mr. Austria's house? Where's bruder? *blink blink* Of Mr. Austria?

China: Well that was unexpected, aru.

America: *suddenly* Hey Mum, have you seen- *sees Russia* Oh hey! There you are.

Russia: Sunflower! *happy face*

England: *exhausted from summoning _all that_* What the heck are all of these creatures doing here? *panting, slumps to sitting position on the floor*

Austria: Mmnphmm!

Swiss: *yawn* Whas... Lili!

Lichy: Bruder!

Lithuania: Where... are we?

Poland: Austria's I think. *Austria pops out from under everything* Speaking off!

Austria: What the hell are all of _you_ doing, falling from my ceiling? We just wanted Liechtenstein!

Swiss: *hugging Lili* Never again.

FMB: No! She's _our_ friend! You can't take her back!

China: Did you hear something, aru?

England: Flying Mint Bunny!

FMB: Oh, so _now_ you notice me. *crosses paws and glares*

England: *taken aback* Wa..?

Sprinkles: Neigh!

Poland: Sprinkles? Like, what's the matter?

Tony: Sprinkles is right, yo! *jumps onto Sprinkle's back and stands*

America: Tony?

Tony: All ya'll been ignoring us, so we kidnapped a nation to get your attention. *mumbles* Fucking limey had to go and ruin it though.

All nations: *gasp*

Kuma: Even Canada's found someone who pays attention to him... We don't have anyone anymore...

Gilbird: Piyo! *angrily*

Russia: *evil aura* Or you could just be friends together, da?

Pookie: *equally evil aura* Or you could just pay attention once in a while, nyan?

Russia: *glare down with Pookie*

Tony: And the really depressing thing is that only one nation realized we were all gone! *points to Poland*

Poland: *flinches* …? *points to himself*

Captain: Arrgh! It was the annoying one that found us!

Pierre: Chirp! Chirp!

America: Heh, I thought Tony ate you Pierre.

Tony: Eat that perverted thing? No thanks. It was all to get your attention. But it didn't fucking work.

America: *woah face* … Tony, I'm so sorry-

Tony: *turns back on America* Tell is to the judge.

FMB: *joins Tony*

Pookie: Nyan. *walks away with FMB and Tony*

Greece's Cat Mob: Meow.

Kuma: Well? Are you going to do anything?

America: B-but Tony...

Tony: *stops walking but doesn't turn around* What? *hatefully*

America: What... What can I do? What can I do to have my best friend back?

Tony: *furious tears in eyes* Really? "Best friend"? I thought that was HIM! *points at Russia*

America: *shakes head* No man, it's different. Nations always form alliances and break them... I may love Ivan as Alfred and not America... But we could be torn apart by war. There's always that chance that we won't be together for long. But with you bro, you're always there. Ever since you crashed at Roswell... Even if we were afraid of each other at first, we've been tight. You're my homie, Tony. Always. I'm sorry if it doesn't seem like it sometimes, but you're my best friend. I don't think I could stand my best bud leaving me. Please come back Tony...

Tony: *silence* … *trembling from tears* C-convince the others... And _then _I'll come back. *disappears along with all the other creatures*

America: *eyes grow wide* Tony...? *crying* TONY!

England: *staring at where they were* N-no... Flying Mint Bunny... Tink... Hook...

Poland: Sprinkles! Like, no!

China: Panda...

Sealand: What's... What's going on guys?

America: They're... They're gone. They left.

Sealand: Who?

England: Our friends... We have to win them back...

Sealand: Oh... Well, you could always...

WAAAAAH... WHY? SCENE CHANGE...

* * *

><p>Don't blame me. D: I didn't want this to happen. It just did. On a funny note... My speelcheck doesn't recognize Sealand as a word. Lul. He just doesn't get a break... Anyway... HOW WAS THAT FOR PLOT?<p>

PEACE OUT HOMIES~


	12. Insanity Is Everywhere

:D So... while I was typing this... I was listening to music from a French Musical. Thought I'd let you know. Anyway. Em-chan and I are part of our own Bad Touch Trio! She took Spanish, our France is taking French, and I'm taking German! Spain, France, and Prussia! We're awesome like that!

Disclaimer: *drool* Huh, wah? ... No.

WARNINGS: Stuff?

Chapter 12: Insanity Is Everywhere

In which: The thickened plot thickens, Sparkles are fought with Italian magic, and the stage is set.

* * *

><p>Voice: In only a few days, it will start to take effect...<p>

Other Voice: Well aren't you dramatic.

Voice: … NO! I am NOT!

Other Voice: *sigh* Will you just explain your plan already?

Voice: It starts with their friends. I'll destroy their morale a little bit at a time. I'll crush them fully and completely.

Other Voice: You're insane. Did you know that? Insane.

Voice: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

EPIC PLOT TWIST OF EPICNESS

Germania: The sparkles are coming...

Rome: And... I think I'm schizophrenic. I keep hearing these two odd voices.

Germania: … mhm... Fascinating.

Rome: *flailing arms* I'm serious! Something's WRONG! Besides the SPARKLES!

Germania: *gives Rome 'the look'* With you... Something is _always_ wrong.

Rome: *wild look* The voices. They speak of death. *scream-ish noise*

Germania: ...mhm... Well that's not good.

Rome: YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME, DO YOU?

Germania: No. No I don't.

Rome: *pokes Germania* He! Is gonna KILL YOU! FIRST! *dun dun duuuuunnn!*

Germania: *grabs Rome* Roma. We're already dead.

Rome: … SHUT UP! I'M NOT CRAZY! Or... at least NOT BECAUSE OF THIS!

Germania: *sigh* What, exactly, are the voices talking about?

Rome: Something about crushing people. Er... something.

Germania: Our children? *worried* Does it want to crush our children?

Rome: YEAH. THAT'S IT.

Germania: This. Is more serious than a Sparkle Party. We'll have to do something.

Rome: Yes we will! I- *gasp* You believe me?

Germania: *stare*

Rome: *blank look* *hopeful eyes*

Germania: *sigh* I think... we need to execute... plan... MOOSTACHE.

Rome: *dramatic gasp* But it's very unstable!

Germania: *dramatic turn and look* It's the only thing we have.

Rome: *serious face*...Let's do it.

SCENE CHAAAAAAAAAANGE~

Tony: *still depressed and cryish* Do you think he was serious? About what he said?

Uni: I don't know, but that was the longest I've ever heard America say something without stuffing his face with food. That has to mean something.

Tony: He talks kinda like that when he's playing dramatic video games. It's weird to hear him screaming like that and it not be at the T.V.

FMB: Cheer up chap! I think they'll make it up to us. Most of us are willing to forgive them anyway. They just might have trouble with... Well, you know who.

Tony: I _hope_ that's not a problem... *stomach growls* Woah. I'm starved.

Hook: Let's get something to eat.

*SMILE* SCENE CHANGE~!

* * *

><p>:D Are you ready for fluff next chapter?<p>

Oh yeah, my name as Fem!Prussia is Gilly B. Anyone opposed to me changing my pen name to that?


	13. NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN

:D

Disclaimer: *EPIC ZOMBIE BATTLE*

WARNINGS: Um...

Chapter 13: NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN

In which: You will bawl your eyes out... again.

* * *

><p>Sealand: Well! Is it all ready?<p>

America: Totally, bro! This is gonna be awesome!

Poland: Totes ma goats. This is, like, sooo cool.

England: HUSH! Here they come! *everyone hides in the dark*

Sealand: Hello!

FMB: Oh, hello, Sealand.

Sealand: The nations have something for you...

Tony:...?

America: *walks out from the dark* *holds out wrapped present* This is for you. It's to show you that you're the best bud a guy could have. You're my wingman, Tony.

Tony: *opens present* *gasps* Is this...?

America: Yeah, I remembered the recipe. I had to improvise a few ingredients 'cause we don't have them on Earth, but... Yeah. I know you get homesick sometimes, so I made food from your home planet to show that, even though you're from somewhere else, you're always welcome here.

Tony: *sits the box down and hugs America* I'M SO SORRY! *crying*

America: *hugs him back* Tony, there's no reason for you to be sorry. _I _was the jerk, not you. I'm to one who's sorry.

Poland: *walks out of the dark* *hands Sprinkles a box*

Sprinkles: Neigh.

Poland: You're like totally the best broski I could ask for. *opens present for him*

Sprinkles: Neigh!

Box: *inside* Wicked hipster pink painted apple necklace charm.

Poland: We, like, have the same favorite color. You like apples, and necklaces are totally _in_ right now. It was totally perfect!

Sprinkle: *tears in eyes* *nudges Poland* Neigh~!

Poland: *pulls necklace over Sprinkles' head* *tears in eyes* Love ya, broski.

Canada: *comes out from the dark, already crying* Kuma...?

Kuma: *walks up, smiling affectionately* Who're you? *smile*

Canada: This is for you. *hands box*

Kuma: I can already tell what this is. *opens, and it's pancakes [duh]* Thank you... *cuddles next to Canada*

Canada: Waaah! *grabs Kuma* I-I-I-I-I'm so sorry!

Russia: *walks out* *stoic face* Pookie...

Pookie: * walks toward Russia* *blank face* Nyan...

Russia: *smiles* Pookie. *ties sunflower to Pookie's collar* *hands Pookie sunflower seeds*

Pookie: *smile* Nyan.

(Germany: I'm gonna eat your cat...)

(Narrator: Lol, wut?)

England: *walks out, empty handed* … I can't really cook, I've found out. (Thank you Francis) And I don't have much money, so I can't buy anything... *upset* And... And...

FMB: *hugs* We forgive you!

Tink and Hook: *also hugs*

England: *cry* I'm so, so sorry!

(Note: Actually, if no one else can see them, this could be really awkward.)

Narrator: And so, after that awkward moment, all the other nations not yet united with their friends (*cough* We didn't bother with *cough*) skipped in a sunny field with flowers to corny romance music~! And they lived happily ever after... *cough* Yeah. Okay. Right.

CORNY ROMANCE SCENE CHANGE~

* * *

><p>:D<p> 


	14. Jazz Hands Everyone!

Heheh. I was totally Fem!Denmark today. It was great. All I was missing was the axe. Oh boy would that have been fun to bring to school~

Disclaimer: *wrestling with zombie thing* KILL IT! KILL IT REAL GOOD.

WARNINGS: Mentions of other things that have nothing to do with Hetalia

Chpater 14: Jazz Hands Everyone~!

In which: The voices have hands and Monty Python makes a cameo!

* * *

><p>Voice: *punches wall* FAILURE! STUPID NATIONS AND THEIR ABILITY TO BRIBE ANIMAL THINGS WITH FOOD!<p>

Other Voice: *facepalm* (since they have hands...)

Voice: Oh, but the whole plan is not finished yet. We will still have our victory!

Other Voice: Yes, I know. _I'm_ the one came up with the back-up plan. And you didn't have to take out your anger on the wall. It didn't do anything to you.

Voice: *looks at hand (which he has)* It's bleeding... Ow!

Other Voice: Hopeless...

THE WALL IS IN PAIN TOO~! POOR WALL!

Rome: B-bad knews Germania!

Germania: What now? We need to execute the plan.

Rome: The voices! They're angry! *grabs Germania's shirt* They have HANDS!

Germania: Mhm... Hands _are_ dangerous. *rolls eyes* Just get on with the plan. Waiting around is going to get us nowhere.

Rome: O-okay. I'll go put the *insert trumpet music* MOOSTACHE *ends* on the thing.

Germania: Mhm... *stands beside lever* *sudden giant thunderstorm outside*

Rome: *eerie green lights and dry ice* Let's begin. *puts MOOSTACHE on the metal podium* Pull the first lever!

Germania: Mhm. *pulls lever*

Rome: *lightening stirke* Mwahahahaha! *buzzing noises* Pull the second lever!

Germania: Stop bossing me. *pulls second lever*

Rome: *more lightening* Pull the third lever!

Germania: Not the third lever! Do you want to kill us?

Rome: PULL IT I SAY! PULL IT!

Germania: *deadpan* *pulls lever*

Rome: MWAHAHAHAHA! *giant lightening strike* *MOOSTACHE glows and moves* IT'S ALIVE! IT'S ALIIIIIIIIVEEEEEEEEE!

Germania: ...mhm... Now good luck catching it.

Rome: …. Wait! MOOSTACHE come back! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Germania: *MOOSTACHE, making squeaking noises, runs by his feet* No. *steps on the corner of it and picks it up*

Rome: *gets off the floor (because he fell)* Thank you lovely assistant!

Germania: *glare* Shut up.

Rome: Now! LET US GO FORTH AND CONQUER!

Germania: Why are you talking like that?

Rome: …. *avoids Germania*

Germania: You've been watching Monty Python again haven't you?

Rome: … I don't have to take this! You're mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries! *storms off* C'mon! Let's go!

COME BACK AND I WILL TAUNT YOU A SECOND TIME

* * *

><p>:D<p>

Spoiler! Next chapter... Things get weird. And I mean weird. REALLY WEIRD GUYS. LIKE REALLY. IT'S WEIRD.


	15. RAMA LAMA LAMA KA DING ITY DING DA DONG

WHAT? COMBINED CHAPTERS? MEANING TWO IN ONE? ABSURD! Anyway, SPRING BREAK YOU GAIS. I have no social life, so congrats! More chapters! :D Thank insomnia for this one though~! I haven't slept at ALL. Nyeh.

WARNINGS: It gets fuckin' weird. No really. Oh, and cursing. I curse like a sailor, and so do Hetalia characters.

Chapter 15: RAMA LAMA LAMA KA DING ITY DING DA DONG

In which: Germany thinnks naughty thought, Italy is spiderman, and the power level is over 9000!

* * *

><p>Italy: Germany?<p>

Germany: Ja, Italy?

Italy: I.. um.. I wanna tell you what I dreamed about last night.

Germany: *blush* *cough* Are you sure?

Italy: *nod nod* There.. um.. there were these two angry looking... things... and.. They were...

Germany: *serious face* Vhat? Vhat vere they doing?

Italy: *shakes head* I... I...

Germany: *hold Italy's hand* *softer voice* It's okay Italy... Vhat vere they doing?

Italy: *waves other hand* I don't know! I could only see them! I couldn't hear them! Ve!

Germany: Only see them? Then vhat did they do to upset you so badly?

Italy: They were going to kill you... They tried to...

Germany: There's no need to vorry. I vill be right here. *concerned*

Italy: *intense stare* But something was really weird about the dream.

Germany: Ja? Vhat?

Italy: You had really, really long hair. And you were wearing a toga thingy.

Germany: *poker face* Toga thingy?

Italy: Ve! Yeah! And Grandpa Rome was there!

Germany: *gasps* Are you sure it vas me?

Italy: Well... No! But the other guy had the same scary face!

Germany: It vasn't me at all! Italy, do you know vhere I can find your grandpa?

Italy: Umm... Wait a minute... *moves italian curl to the front of his head* *stands curl up like an antenna*

(Narrator: Italy's Roman senses are tingling)

Italy: He's... Grandpa's at a warehouse place thingy!

Germany: *weirded out* Uh... a varehouse? Vhere?

Italy: Here! *takes Germany's hand* I'll show you! *drags Germany out the door*

TRANSITIONARY SCENE CHANGE

Italy: *bursts into the room* Grandpa Rome! *sees Germania and panics* D-D-D-DOPPLEGNAGER! I don't wanna die! Please! I'll do a-

Germania: *blank stare*

Rome: Italy! Don't worry, Germania won't kill you, probably. He's your Step-Grandma~!

Germania: *smacks Rome upside the head*

Italy: The creepy copy hurt Grandpa!

Germania: Copy? I came first. Germany is my grandson.

Italy: *looks at Germany, then Germania, then Germany, then Germania, then Germany* You acctually have family besides Prussia?

Germania: Sort of.

Germany: *still just blankly staring at Germania*

Italy: *panics* I'm sorry I called you creepy and copy and stuff! Honest!

Germania: *huff* Just like Roma...

Germany: Aren't both of you dead?

Rome: NO! It's a conspiracy!

Germania: Yes. Yes we are.

MOOSTACHE: *squealy noise*

Germany: WTF?

Rome: IT'S OUR BRILLIANT PLAN!

Germania: More like last resort.

Italy: … Isn't that Fratello's secret weapon?

Rome: Maybe. Yes? No? Perhaps.

Germania: *smacks Rome upside the head*

Rome: You're freaking out my Grandson! Stop that!

Italy: Waaah! Grandpa got hit again!

Germania: *gives Rome "the look"*

Italy and Rome: EEP!

Italy: *to Germany* You both make the SAME FACE!

Germany: *still weirded out* Ja...

Germania: *points to Italy and Rome* So do you two.

Italy: Holy pasta! You're right! *pokes Rome's face*

Rome: Woah... *pokes Italy's face*

Germany:..Vhat...?

Germania: *facepalm* Wasn't there something we were about to do, Roma?

Rome: Oh yeah! Defeat the evil voice people!

Italy: *white lag at the ready* Evil voice people..?

Rome: Yes. I can hear them, but I can't see them. They're going to kill him. *points nonchalantly at Germania*

Germania: Thank you for your concern. I feel _so_ loved...

Italy: Wait! I had a about people killing him! *points to Germania*

Germania: *points to himself* Earth's most wanted. Joy.

Rome: You can see them?

Italy: Yeah!

Rome: Do you think... we should...

Italy: Try that thing again?

Rome: Yeah, that thing.

Germany: *gave up long ago* …?

WARNING. THIS IS SOMEWHAT CREEPY. (AND FUCKIN WEIRD)

Italy: Okay! *pulls curl around finger*

Rome: *pulls his curl around his finger* Waaah...

Italy: Aaaaaaaah *slowly walks towards Rome*

Rome: Aaaaaaaaaah...

Germany: Vhat in the hell...?

Italy: ITALIAN CURLS UNITE!

Rome: OUR POWER LEVEL IS OVER 9000!

Italy and Rome: AAAAAAAHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! PAAAAAAAAASSTTAAAAAAAA! *their curls link together and they go into a trance like state*

Germany: *reaches out to touch Italy* Ita-

Germania: Don't touch them. You'll be electrocuted.

Germany: You know vhat... I give up. I just give up. I vill never understand italians.

Germania: .. mhm. I've known him *points to Rome* for over 10,000,000 years, and I still don't.

OVER 9000 SCENE CHANGE!

* * *

><p>... Yeah.<p> 


	16. Perverts

:D

Disclaimer: ! *explosion*

WARNINGS: Um.

Chapter 16: Perverts

In which: Squirrels are evil, Greece thinks dirty thoughts, and Sweden is a pervert

* * *

><p>Romano: *happily whistling*<p>

Spain: You're very happy today, Lovi~

Romano: DON'T-A CALL ME THAT! And yes! Very!

Spain: *suspicious* Did you catch another squirrel?

Romano: NO! *glares in direction of woods were squirrels are* I had a really great-a dream!

Spain: *leer* What was it about, hmmm?

Romano: … *sudden realization* KEEP YOUR PERVERTED MIND OUT OF-A THIS!

Spain: Ahhh~ But Lovi~

Romano: No! I won't-a let you ruin my good mood! That-a potato eating-a bastardo finally got what was-a coming to him!

Spain: You dream-killed Germany?

Romano: Well no... Not-a me. Some really freaky alien looking things.

Spain: *shrugs* Okay... Hey Lovi...

Romano: DON'T-A CALL ME THAT!

Spain: Why are you so angry at squirrels?

Romano: *corny Flashback wavy screen thing* Lalala~! *Baby Romano is eating effin crackers*

Narrator: You see... Once upon a time... Romano used to be a happy little gender neutral chibi-thing before he became an asshole.

Romano: *sees squirrel and runs up to it* Ciao fluffy-a thing! Do you want a cracker? *holds out hand with one cracker in it*

Squirrel: … *takes whole bag instead*

Romano: Noooo! *end flashback*

Romano: ...He stole my effin crackers...

Spain: ...*leaves the room*

Romano: HEY! YOU TOMATO BASTARD! WHERE ARE YOU-A GOING?

Spain: *comes back* *has hand behind his back*

Romano: What are you-a doing? What-a is that?

Spain: *holds out hand* Effin crackers.

Romano: *gasps* Really? *reaches out to take them*

Squirrel: *steals and runs into the woods*

Romano: NOOOOOOO! NOT AGAIN YOU-A NUTT EATING BASTARD! *runs after squirrel*

Spain: ...Poor Lovi...

GET THE SQUIRREL ROMANO! SCENE CHANGE~!

Greece: *asleep with who knows how many cats on and around him (we knows but you no knows)*

Japan: Ah... Greece-san...

Greece: ...zzz

Japan: *shakes Greece's shoulder* Ah! I aporogize for touching you! But I need to tark to you!

Greece: *_very_ tiredly* Hm..? *sits up, sending kitty avalanche* What is it you need..?

Japan: I-I aporogize, I need your assisstance.

Greece: *eyes widen slightly* With what...?

Japan: I wourd rather not say right now. *blushes* I wirr terr you if you come with me...

DIRTY THOUGHTS SCENE CHANGE

Finland: *to Sweden, holds up Hana* So cute, huh? *clueless smile*

Sweden: *blank stare* *looking at Finland* Yeah.

Finland: *notices* Wha-What are you looking at?

Sweden: *really tiny smirk* N'thn.

Finland: Okaaaaay~

DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO NEXT? SCENE CHANGE!


	17. IT'S A CONSPIRACY!

UHMAIGAW. iodf;lskdflkd. Bleh.

WARNINGS: Cursing, such and such

Chapter 17: IT'S A CONSPIRACY!

In which: IS THE LONGEST SCENE. EVER.

* * *

><p>Rome: I HAVE CALLED THIS EMERGENCY INTERNATIONAL MEETING TOGETHER!<p>

Germania: Mhm...

(assorted crowd mumblings)

Russia: ...Aren't you two dead?

Rome: NO! IT'S A CONSPIRACY! WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP ASKING THAT?

Germania: Because it's true.

Rome: NO! IF WE'RE DEAD... THEN WHY ARE WE STILL HERE?

Italy: *pokes Rome's forehead and Rome shudders* You were on caps lock again, Grandpa.

Rome: *blinks* Thank you Italy. But I'm NOT DEAD!

Germania: Just shut up and start the meeting already.

(assorted nations are staring blankly at Rome and Germania)

Rome: *stands up* I believe there is a terrible threat to the human race rising!

America: ...Aren't you dead?

Rome: NO. Now moving on...

Russia: *puts hand over America's mouth*

America: *flinches away* Woah man, don't touch me! It was an honest question!

Prussia: I am NOT in a good mood right now. _Please, _shut up.

Russia: *pouts at America*

America: Ah-

Prussia: YOU WANNA GO? I'M STILL PUMPED FULL OF ADRENALINE!

America: *hides behind Russia*

Canada: *quietly to America* You really don't want to mess with him right now.

America: *hugs Russia from behind* Sca-Scary...

Russia: *smiles*

Germany: *getting annoyed*

Poland: *to Sprinkles* No way! Then what?

Sprinkles: Neigh, neigh!

Poland: Oh mai gah!

Sealand: I got called to a meeting! I really _am_ a country!

Australia: Gooday mates!

Swiss: How did you even get through the barrier?

Lichy: I don't know...

Austria: With the power of Mozart probably.

Swiss: SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR FREAKY MUSIC STUFF OR I WILL MAKE YOU GO BANKRUPT!

Germany: *grumbles*

America: *to Japan* Try to say lollipop!

Japan: Um..r.. rorrypop..?

America: *laughs* How about lava walla rama?

Japan: Rava... Rava warra rama...maramara?

England: You stepped on my foot, frog!

France: It is called playing footsie, non? *wink wink*

England: NOT IF IT HURTS YOU TWAT!

Romano: *eating effin crackers*

Spain: *happy face*

Germany: *starting to twitch*

Denmark: HEY NORGE!

Norway: I'm going to kill him slowly and painfully.

Netherlands: Someone set off my tulip alarm yesterday...

Poland: ...Uhm.

Lithuania: *whisper* He's on to us!

China: Who puts alarms on tulips?

Germany: Grrr...

Rome: Wow, if this is how meetings go... I'm almost glad I'm dead.

Germania: Mhm... Wait... You just admitted you were dead!

Rome: No I didn't!

Germania: *smacks Rome upside the head*

Italy: Grandpa!

Germany: GRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAH! ZIS IS MORE CHAOTIC THEN THE REGULAR MEETINGS! YOU ALL NEED TO CALM DOWN AND SHUT UP! IF YOU DON'T SIT DOWN, I VILL SHOVE VURST DOWN YOUR THROATS UND EXPIRAMENT ON YOUR DEAD BODIES AFTER I PUT THEM THROUGH THE SHOWERS! NOW, YOU VILL ALL SIT DOWN. SHUT UP. UND LISTEN TO ROME. IF YOU DON'T, YOU VILL BE SUBJECTED TO YODELING UND VEARING LIEDERHOSEN FOR ALL ETERNITY! *huff huff* ...*ahem* Ja. *sits down*

Rome: Uh... huh...um...well... *pale, fidget fidget* Yes. Um. So, I believe that there is an alien threat.

Tony: *raises eyebrow (or where his eyebrow should be)*

Rome: N-No no! Not you! Um.. Um... Italy! Show them the picture!

Italy: Veh~ *holds up picture of a bunny rabbit*

Rome: *facepalm* Not that one. The one creepy thingies one.

Italy: Oh! *pulls out picture of really ugly purple-looking things with hands*

Tony: Woah! I know those guys! This one *points to purple thing with hands and three eyes* Is called a llollien.

Japan: Rrorrien?

Tony: ...*points to other purple thing with hands and intena* This one is called an Allien. They're not very nice.

America: *le gasp* Aren't they the ones who-

Tony: Yeah. Them. *angry* But, yeah, they aren't such good people.

Rome: Right well, we think that these... things are trying to take over the world.

Germania: ...mhm...

Tony: Oh crap. I'll have to call back up.

Japan: Are they that bad?

Tony: Yeah. Pretty bad. But we won ourselves some allies on other planets, so we ought to be okay.

America: Okay dudes! Let's save the world! Tony, you'll be my super awesome side-kick! Russia, you'll be my back up, China, you'll be my back up, and Canada, you'll be my back up too!

Prussia: *glares and looms over America* And?

America: Oh.. um... nevermind. *hides behind Russia...again*

Prussia: Kesesesesese

Canada: Maple...

Prussia: I say Tony's the hero. Anyone disagree?

America: *shakes head* (Everyone else: *shrug*)

Prussia: Alright. Now move on.

Rome: Okay, so. We made the ultimate weapon to fight them with! *to Germania* BRING IN OUR CREATION!

Germania: Mhm. *tugs on leash*

Romano: MOOSTACHE?

Germania: ...mhm...

MOOSTACHE: *sudden squeally noise* *dies*

Rome: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Rome and Italy and Romano: BIRTOLI! *cires*

Germany: ...Ve're doomed.

Germania: ...mhm...

Both: *faceplam*

England: What just happened?

Rome: No! No! *tears in eyes* NOOO! *tries to give it CPR*

Romano: Stop it, a-stupid! It has no-a mouth!

Rome: Noooooo! I BROUGHT IT TO LIFE THE FIRST TIME! I'LL BRING IT BACK THE SECOND TIME!

Italy: *weeping* He was so youuuuung~!

Tony: *facepalm* Just let me call in back up, guys.

America: Yeah! Let Tony handle this guys! He's like a hero!

Japan: I agree with America.

Tony: Thanks guys. *starts pushing buttons on a cell phone looking thing*

America: Put it on speaker so we can all hear!

Tony: That'd be pointless-

America: Come on! We're all in on this!

(Author: ~WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER!~)

Tony: *facepalm* Fine. But it won't do you any good. *speaker button* Riiiiiiiing... Riiiiing...

?: Hebalubo? Ibis thibis Tobonyby? Woboh, muban~ Lobong tibime nobo sebee!

Tony: Yubeah! Ubi knubow rubight!

?: Whubat's ubup muban?

Tony: Thubose _gubuys_ ubare trubyubing tubo ubinvubade Ubearth.

?: Uboh nubo!

America: Yubeah! Ubit's rubealluby bubad! Plubease hubelp?

Tony: You speak Ubbi Dubbi? Since when?

America: Some kids on an old TV show used to speak it!

?: Whubo ubis thubis?

Italy: Thubat wubas Ubamerubicuba! Ubi ubam Ubitubaluby! PUBAAAAASTUUUUUUBAAAAA!

Germany: *blank stare* Vhen in the VORLD did you learn Alien?

Italy: Veh~ *point to curl, which is still in upright position*

Germany: …

Poland: Subo, lubike, whubat's ubup bruboskubi? *smirk* And people say that the Polish are stupid!

Tony: ...Ubanubywubay... Cuban yubou hubelp ubus?

?: Subure! Ubi'll brubing muby ubarmuby!

Tony: Thubanks uba tubon, bubudduby. *hangs up*

(All the other nations are making scared faces)

China: I can't speak foreign! ...aru.

Tony: Well then, don't talk to them. Pretty simple. *starts calling someone else*

!: Eyhay! Upsay obray?

Tony: Eyhay obray! Eway eednay ouryay elphay ithway omethingsay.

America: Hey! That's pig latin! I can speak that!

Spain: That's no "latin" I've ever heard...

Romano: *nods* Si...

America: *shrugs* I don't think it's really Latin.

Romano: That why they call it _pig_ latin? Because _you_ made it up... pig.

America: HEY! THAT WASN'T VERY NICE!

Germany: Oi! VILL YOU ALL CALM DOWN! Tony, continue.

Tony: M'kay. *to !* E'reway inway away oughtay ituationandsay eednay omesay ackbay

upway. Elphay emay outway?

!: Uresay! *click*

Tony: I've got one more group to call, but they'll probably be very indecisive about if they wanna help or not.

America: Call away!

Tony: Alright... *calls*

Picts: Hello?

Tony: Hey! Wanna help out Earth?

Picts: Seriously?

Itlay: Yeah! Seriously!

Picts: We don't know...

Tony: Hmmm... Gotta think on how to bribe them... Oh! If you help us, we'll mass produce black markers for you guys! Whaddya say?

Picts: ...Okay...!

Tony: Who here makes black markers? Where do they originally come from?

(Author: He totally set himself up for this one.)

Korea: BLACK MARKERS ORIGINATE FROM ME, DA-ZEE!

China: I will start mass producing them, aru. It is my specialty after all.

Tony: We're all set then. *sighs* This will all work out good then.

America: Yeah! All hail the conquering hero! Way to go, Tony!

Tony: Shut up. *nudes America*

America: HAHAHAHA!

This madness has gone on long enough. Scene change.

* * *

><p>Legit. Anyway, you can look up Ubbi Dubbi and use the translator if you want. They totes ma goats have one.<p>

We love torturing Japan. And making Germany yell. And making Rome go senile. Oh yeah, the doc manager upload thing totally takes out extra punctuation marks... and we use lots of those... so... I added them after uploading... but they still might not work... *shrugs*

Anyway... I'm tired.

Later dudes~!


End file.
